WEB SITE TERMS OF
USE
Wow! You actually came to this page. Our lawyers made us include
it and made us use a precious button on our home page to get you
here. At first, we thought the lawyers were a real pain. But then we
read the page. What a Netwakening! It's really important stuff. We
took the legalese the lawyers wrote and translated it into readable
English. So be a smart nethead and read the stuff on this page. It
could prevent you from hearing from our lawyers, or worse yet, from
really nasty people, like prosecutors.
Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you (and people you like)
can use it for personal entertainment, information, education,
communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse around
all you like. You can even download stuff from the site but only for
non-commercial, personal use. If you do, though, don't fool around
with the copyright and other notices all over the stuff. They're
there for a really good reason. And don't even think about
distributing, modifying, transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or
anything else uncool with any of the stuff, including the text,
images, audio, and video, for public or commercial purposes unless
we give you written permission. And it's not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to [read:
stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and any other law
or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, the World Wide
Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You shouldn't access or browse the site if
you have any problem with that, because once you start, there's no
turning back -- you are bound by [read: stuck with] the terms and
conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who
hang out on our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume
that everything on the site is copyrighted unless we say it's not.
So you can't use the stuff except how we say you can on this page or
anywhere else on the site without our written permission. And like
we said before, it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In
fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any deal
anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate
stuff on the site, we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact,
we're not promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if
you use stuff on the site, you're using it at your own risk. Don't
call us if there's a problem because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped
us create, produce, or deliver the site are not liable for any
damages you suffer when you use it. In particular, the lawyers want
you to know that our disclaimer includes "direct, incidental,
consequential, indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your
access to, or use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing,
everything on the site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY
OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED
TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion
of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not apply
to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or limitations
regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. " Ugh! What a
mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in quotes because
we couldn't figure out any other way to say it that the lawyers
would accept. But here's the bottom line -- we're not responsible if
you're browsing around and the site damages you or your computer or
infects it with any nasty viruses. We sure hope that doesn't happen,
but if it does, don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to
know something, don't post in on the site in any bulletin board or
anyplace else. That's because anything you disclose to us is ours.
That's right -- ours. So we can do anything we want with the stuff
you post. We can reproduce it, disclose it, transmit it, publish it,
broadcast it, and post it someplace else. We can even send it to
your mother (as soon as we find her address). Not only that, we can
even use any ideas, concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any
way we want to, including, developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places
shown on the site are either our property or someone else's property
we're using with their permission. No matter what, it's definitely
not your property. You or any of your net-friends can't use it
unless we said you could on this page or somewhere else on the site.
And guess what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, Bunky, because
unauthorized use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep
the stuff you download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of
trademarks, logos, and service marks on the site that either we own
or we're using with someone else's permission. So don't think you
have any kind of license or right to use them, because you don't and
we're not about to give you one. If you don't leave them alone and
mess with our trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we'll
probably go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other
trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that we're likely to
sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for messing around
with our property or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've
linked our site to lots of others. While that's cool, it doesn't
mean we've looked at all those sites, much less checked them out
periodically to see what's going on. So don't blame us if some site
you link to is bad or has stuff on it that offends you or your pets.
Go ahead and link, but remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on
our own site. While we occasionally listen in on chat groups, or
look at the posting in our discussion groups or on our bulletin
boards, we take no responsibility and assume no liability for the
content of those locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel,
slander, omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity
you might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And
don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful,
threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous,
inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or any
material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal offense,
get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter violate
any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we certainly respect your
privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate with any law
enforcement authorities or court which might ask us who might have
posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this
Site is protected by all sorts of patriotic U.S. laws. Because of
that, you can't download or send the software to anyone in the
vacation travel spots of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran,
Syria, or any other country where United States has embargoed goods;
or (get this) to anyone on the United States Treasury Department's
list of Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce
Department's Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI's Most Wanted Internet
Creeps List (just kidding on the last one). As if that were not
tough enough, if you live in or are a national of any of those
lovely places, you're not even supposed to be reading this page, so
beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change this
page and anything else on the site any time we want to. That's
because it's ours and we have the programmers who can do it. If we
do change the page, then you're bound by [read: stuck with] those
changes, too, whenever you visit our site.
11. If either of us wants to
make something of it and wants to “sue” (a dirty word) then we have
to follow these rules of engagement. (sort of according to the
Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of Wisconsin,
without regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened to
violate LawofAttractionUnleashed.comand/or its affiliates'
intellectual property rights, LawofAttractionUnleashed.comand/or its
affiliates may seek injunctive or other appropriate relief in
any state or federal court in the State of Wisconsin, and you
consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try
to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator in
the following location: Brown Count, Wisconsin. Any costs and fees
other than attorney fees associated with the mediation will be
shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory
solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to
binding arbitration at the following location: Brown Count,
Wisconsin, under the rules of the American Arbitration Association.
Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may be entered
in any court with jurisdiction to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and undiplomatic, you should have
seen what the lawyers gave to us in the first place. We had to
remind them that human torture and sacrifice was outlawed in the
United States. Boy, did they look disappointed!
January 10, 2009
LawofAttractionUnleashed.com
